How to fail chemistry and math tests with HUMOR!!!

Below are student test examples. So even if you don’t teach either of these two subjects, this is very funny!!! And lets face it…we could all use some humor in our day.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

Stress

Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

He continued,

'And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,

As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,

We won't be able to carry on. '

'As with the glass of water,

You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'

'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home.

You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,

Let them down for a moment if you can.'

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now...

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
Recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person...

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons..... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.


*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did .

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this, I am certainly glad that my friend sent it to me. Feel free to comment, and don't forget to enter your email in the RSS feed so you won't miss more posts. I'd love

to see you on Twitter-look for Punzey!

Can you dry jeans with a blow dryer in a bathroom?

It was one of those days. Actually, it had been one of those weekends. Saturday and Sunday I'd been at school all day for a licensing review course. Monday I had two study groups to meet to study for final exams. The instructor for the WSI (American Red Cross' Water Safety Instructor) told us to bring jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt to practice survival techniques. Of course that means that you need an extra pair of clothes to wear after class because your clothes will be soaked, right? Monday dawned to find my trudging out to the Jeep with two diaper bags, a backpack, another book bag, my swim bag, and a lunch box. With all of that gear to pack (plus sleep deprivation and high stress levels), two children to dress, and a dog to take care of, it's always the question of the day as to what item(s) that I forgot to include. Still, I was completely certain that I had brought the required items to my swim class.

Class went well, although I think I have decided that it takes more work to blow up a shirt into a flotation device than it does to tread water. After showering I reached into the bag to grab my dry clothes and found only the t-shirt. What?! Where are my pants??? Drat. After debating what my options were for several moments, I spied the hand dryers mounted on the wall. I wasn't even hoping to completely dry the pants,but I was hoping that I could knock the water out a step or two. After wringing out the jeans as much as possible I positioned them over the outlet and started the dryer. Eight cycles and two very tired arms later, my jeans were still on the wet side of the damp spectrum. Or they were on the dry side of soaking. Take your pick, but you get the picture! Tired and wanting to go home, I decided that my only option was to go ahead and wear the wet pants and just be a bit chilly. Fortunately it was a warmish evening. As I wrapped up my swimsuit in the towel and went to stick it into my bag, what did my hands touch but my spare pair of pants? Wow! Ok, so now I feel like a dork. But at least I'm now a dry dork!

Friend sent me: Common Sense's Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense , who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust,
by his wife, Discretion,
by his daughter, Responsibility,
and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights,
I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame,
and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Willing wethead

Neither one of my sons likes for his hair to be washed. It's not the shampoo, but the water pouring over their heads. Ryan can't figure out how to hold both his eyes and his ears at the same time. At least he has stopped shrieking at the top of his lungs. William doesn't go in for the hysterics, but he does cling to me tighter than melted chocolate on upholstery all the wihle gasping anxiously for breath. Some days I feel as though I'm dressing for war when I bathe them--hair in a ponytail, contacts must be in, and remove any long sleeves.

None of this makes sense to their befuddled mother as I've always been a fish out of water. Out of water I'm a complete klutz, but in the water I feel graceful and strong. My parents had to teach me to swim before I was two years old because I would run and jump in anytime I saw water. Since both my brothers were in competitive swimming, this kept my mom quite busy. Having two sons afraid to let a little water drip over their eyes leaves me wondering what to do.

They both absolutely love taking baths and playing in the water, it's just the wet heads they can't deal with. Obviously skipping hair washing is not an option, so we've dealt with it--both the sobbing children and the soaked clothes. Ryan is finally getting to the point where he will cover his face with a washcloth and allow me to wash his hair. The big surprise of the day was when William, picked up the green cup and handed it to me. Then he even leaned forward for me to dump the water on his head! I can't tell you how astounded I was that this little guy was asking me to wash his hair! YAAAY! No matter what else happens today, this day goes down as a good one. :) I now have a willing wethead!

Cute Easter photos

The Easter photo shoot didn't go as planned. The boys would NOT sit still. But it doesn't matter--they were still so cute all dressed up. Ryan loved wearing a tie and William wouldn't take off his hat in Sunday school. A few tips for getting at least some decent shots of your children on special days...

1. Don't get dead set that the pictures HAVE to be done a certain way. Children are masters of picking up stress and will react (usually negatively) to it. Just relax and realize that you can only get kids to do so much.

2. Be snappy. Two ways. First, if at all possible, use an autofocus camera. Yes, my 35mm Minolta takes superb pictures, but it's a dinosaur and doesn't autofocus. No toddler is going to sit still long enough for you to focus manually! Also, take a lot of pictures. Just keep shooting. You never know when a good one is going to come out.

3. Take candid shots as well as posed portraits. This way at least something will turn out. Some days they end up being better than the posed "everybody sitting and smiling in the same direction" pictures anyway. I didn't get a good photo of the boys in their easter outfits (hopefully one of the grandparents' turned out). But I'm happy with the egg hunt photos, so I've included two of them. Remember, the point of taking pictures is to preserve memories. So don't stress yourself out trying to get "the" perfect shot.

And take advantage of Snapfish's generosity and save money printing your Easter memories. :) 50 Free Prints plus a choice of either 20% Off Photo Cards OR 20% Off Photo Books Exp 4/30

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YouData pays you

Introducing YouData, Inc., the company that actually PAYS you to see advertisements! Annoyed with all those popups that keep bombarding you? With YouData, you actually get paid to view advertisements. You choose when and how many to see, and they tell you ahead of time how much each ad is worth. Earnings are depositied into your PayPal account every Friday. You won't get rich off this network, but who can complain about a few extra dollars every week for a few minutes of "work?" The company is pretty new and will only keep attracting more advertisers, which will mean more money for you! And who knows, you might actually see something useful in one of the ads? After the first week YouData deposited $4.15 into my PayPal account. That's my ebay fund right there! :) If you're interested in free money, here's the steps to take.

1) Create your YouData Account.
You will enter some basic information. They don't ask for your mailing address, but they do require your cell phone number to send 1 confirmation text. After that, they don't bother you. They do this as a double opt-in feature to prevent spammers from entering falst accounts and to enforce the one account per person rule. And all they need to pay you is for you to enter the email address you have registered on PayPal. (Create a PayPal account if you don't already have one.) And the great thing is that, unlike many online work-from-home type programs, there is NO MINIMUM payment to deposit!!!

2) Fill out optional surveys in your MeFile. YouData gives optional surveys that help target ads specifically to you. Just click the tab that says "MeFile" and then click "surveys." It's that easy!

3) Come back to Rapunzal's Castle and look for the adstacker on the right hand of the page. It'll look like this Login using your YouData ID. Click on the lower right hand corner where it says "get ads" Then look at the top where you see a slider bar. This sort of works as a tip jar, and it's set to 50/50%. Slide all the way to the left ot keep 100% of the money that you earn. (you can only see the slider bar when you have ads to view) Then click "reveal ads" and you can then click on the ads individually. You get paid for paying attention for a few seconds. Cool, right?

That's all there is to it. I hope this was helpful. Enjoy your fun money from YouData. Thanks to Freebies4Mom for getting me started on this idea. I'm off to check my ads. Friday I'm buying the jogging case for my MP3 player!

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to sign up for more from Rapunzal's Castle, or follow Punzey on Twitter. Leave a comment, I'd love to hear your success stories with YouData.

Just a few more?

The last two and a half years that I have spent at the university have been both enjoyable and interminable. Time has passed both quickly and achingly slow. I find myself within three weeks of finals bouncing up and down at the prospect of being done with classwork. Summer clinicals will be difficult but enjoyable. To say that I am eagerly anticipating graduating in August and being able to find a job in a clinic is an understatement. I'm ready to be out of school and re-enter the real world!

Somehow, though, when I look at the years that I've spent on campus, it seems as though I didn't get half of what I wanted accomplished. The instructor for my voice class asked if I wanted to take private lessons next year. My voice carried both excitement and regret that I couldn't because I have graduated by then. There are so many courses, so many subjects that I wanted to study, but I just ran out of time. While registering for this last semester I felt like Cinderella at the ball, begging the clock to allow just one more dance. I wanted to take another art course, to study more music. My brain has been stuffed full of physics, anatomy, and chemistry, and it is happy for the challenge. But my spirit feels satisfied when the expression when I am bent over a drawing or my fingers are flying over the keyboard.

At times I look jealously at my younger, single classmates who seem to have the world open. They complain that they can't find anything interesting to fill out their elective hours, while I bring myself back to reality that, no, I can't take the 22 hours of the courses I really am interested in.

But then, when I start the ignition to my Jeep and begin the long drive home, the miles weigh on me. I do not wish to make this drive any longer. The miles weigh on me because they separate me from my children. What science can be more challenging than teaching my oldest son to read? Is there an art course in the world more fun than making dolphins and elephants shape out of playdough and then squishing them with two giggling children? Is there a human relationship more confounding and yet comforting as the marriage relationship? I may miss out on a few college experiences, but what I have more than makes up for it. My life is full, it is rewarding. It is different than that of my classmates. And crazy. :)

Maybe it is for the best that I will leave the university feeling unfinished. I have not lost my desire to learn. My mind still contains many dreams and other goals to accomplish. I will never be bored. There is always something else to discover.

50 Free prints from Snapfish plus 20% off

Special April savings at Snapfish! One of my favorite online stores, Snapfish is providing a wonderful, money saving promotion for the entire month. Get your Easter memories printed off for FREE. Or, if you're like me and still haven't gotten all of your Christmas shots printed, here's your opportunity! Or you can take the year's best pictures and turn them into a photo book, just in time for Mother's Day. 50 Free Prints plus a choice of either 20% Off Photo Cards OR 20% Off Photo Books Exp 4/30

Don't forget to sign up for email alerts for more great ideas, follow me on Twitter, or "tweet" this post with the widget on the right. Feel free to add comments of your great ideas, too!

Update on Victoria's Secret Freebie - good until April 6

For those of you who read my earlier post about VS giving away a $10 minimum (could be up to $500) gift card with any $10 purchase-- you have four more days. I contacted Victoria's Secret customer service and found out that the offer is ending on April 6 because the gift card is valid starting April 7. Didn't want anyone to go into the store a few days late and be disappointed.